Quotidian n°67 – Today I had no idea for a title for this Quotidian so I deciced to simply try to write something extremely long and complicated to say that I did not know what to name it exclusively to annoy you people and also, maybe, to see how many characters I could use to write the longest post title ever but as I am writing these words I still can’t find the end so I’m starting to panic, this is too long, help, I’m starting to hyperventilate here! OMG when is this madness going to end I don’t understand, what is love, you’re not my dad, what’s my name? Where am I? What is the point of my existence? Gmblblblblblblblblblblbl! *Mic drop sound and weird noises* Hi. Hello? Oh hi, my name is Jerry, Soar is not available right now, he is, ahm, unavailable for medical reasons right now so I will be the one to entertain you all along this post today. Nice to meet you. Very well then, let’s begin!

I have no idea what I’m doing. Plz halp.


 

Hello there, as you may already know if you’ve read the title, my name is Jerry. I’ll be replacing the great Soar Vandergeid today because he wasn’t in sufficient mental shape to write this post due to his failed experiment with the length of the title of this post. Anyway, I hope you enjoy my company, let us begin!

Okay, what am I supposed to do first? Ah, there we have it, his notes. So, what do you usually do my dear Soar? Hmmm, open blog, start new post, yes yes, that’s done. Write title, check for mistakes, begin post, ah! There we are! Number one, tell them about the updates of the day. Okay, that shouldn’t be hard. Uhm, let’s check here. Just one minute please, I’m almost ready! Nothing, okay then, that’s easy.

Alright, I’m here again! So, about today’s amazing updates and awesome collection of new posts we have: absolutely nothing. Yep, nothing, nada, niet, a huge gaping void that suck everything in it because of its humongous scale. Well, I’m not blaming the author of this blog either, perhaps he didn’t have any inspiration for any new post or perhaps he didn’t have the time to write anything today or perhaps he didn’t hae the will to write anything. We won’t know until he wakes up I fear… But that’s not important, he’ll be fine, don’t worry! In the meantime let’s proceed with the post.

Number two, talk about your day a little, explain what you did before you started writing the Quotidian. Okay, that isn’t too hard either… Well, this morning, after waking up and taking a quick cold shower, which I must say was quite efficient at waking me up, I think my neighbors can testify to the intensity of the screams that every drop got out of me, I went to my neighborhood’s bakery and I bought some bread and a croissant. I love croissants. Especially when I can eat one with a cup of hot black coffee, though it’s not as delicious as a good frosted doughnut.

After that I went to see Alfred, the caretaker of the residence’s garden and discussed the benefits of clear water on the different varieties of bushes and flowers, he had quite a strong opinion on the intensity of the color of roses depending on the quantity of water one gives them each day. I didn’t know that gardening could be so complex, it could almost be elevated to the rank of art, nor that a man could have such passion over water volumes. It was very interesting nonetheless, I’ll have to remember to invite him over for tea sometime.

Well, I believe this is enough about me, if I read the third instruction correctly I should find something to talk about, some sort of additional subject to this post. I believe that usually Mister Vandergeid entertains you with a philosophical question or an extremely interesting subject of some sort but I do not have his ability in terms of entertainment or reflection so I won’t be able to give you much food for thoughts. On the other hand I am very well renowned for the quality of my puns so I will conclude this post with one of my personal favorites:

What is the best course of action when you get attacked by an angry grizzly? To bear with it.

Thank you for your attention, hopefully your usual host will be back on his feet by tomorrow. I wish you all a very enjoyable day/evening/night/morning/afternoon and perhaps we will see each other again.

Bye.

Love, Jerry.

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