PWE – 0 – The Fog

The whiteness was bright. Silent and bright. And yet it seemed as if his mind was surrounded by ink black darkness and noises so loud they would shatter his sanity any second now. It was one, then the other, one and the other, bright and dark, bright or dark, noisy or silent, noisy and silent… It was impossible to define, all at once and yet nothing at all, at the same time and alternatively. As if the rules of reality had been completely thrown away and had been randomly replaced. The strangest thing was the feeling it procured. It wasn’t one of fear or loss, he wasn’t afraid, he wasn’t happy, he wasn’t anything actually… He was… content…? He? It couldn’t even know if it was a he anymore, it didn’t know anything, all it was was content, inside and out. It always had been and always would be, forever. Forever. That was a long time, a very long time. And yet it felt as if it had passed in the time it took it to formulate this thought. An eternity. A second. No difference, all the same in the face of the whiteness.

It moved. Strange. How could it know it had moved? And yet, it had felt itself stir. Something that had not been part of its reality for a long time… Or had it ever been part of its reality? It couldn’t say… And yet it stirred, again. A thought popped in its mind. A thought? How? Sound. There was a sound. Not the silence, not the noise, something else. A distinct sound. What it was, he could not say. No, wait… it? He? It was confused. How… Why… Slowly, ever so slowly, thoughts seemed to pop back into his mind. One by one, an eternity at a time. Back? Why back? Why not just pop? What had happened before? Before what? What was now? What was then? White. Now was white. But before… before was not white? It couldn’t say. Something was happening but it couldn’t say what, it was still far too sleepy, far to content in this whiteness to even try to stir again. It stopped doing whatever it was and waited again, content. And again it stirred. Stronger this time and from a place he couldn’t say. He? Again? Why? The noise happened once more, that strange noise it had heard earlier. What was going on?

Then everything accelerated. Stir, content, noise, content, feel, hear, content, think, remember, content, colour, move, fear, content, music, happy, hungry, world, big, content, tears, crying, laughing, hot, fire, why, content, white, black, eat, run, fly, wonder, magic, content, ask, stir, smell, taste, love, life… Colours were flying everywhere, merging into themselves, the whiteness had been taken over, content wasn’t the only one anymore, there were so many others. Others what? He couldn’t say. He? Yes, he, not it. So many others and only one him. Only one him but made of all the others. How? Why? Questions were bustling in his mind as the whiteness and the silence around his merged with the others, colours, sounds, smells, memories, feelings, things! All at once and yet over the course of another eternity. How could he tell how long an eternity was? The drum. It beat twice every eternity. Loud and proud. It beat and it never stopped. He couldn’t understand what was happening and yet it all seemed to make sense somehow and it made him stir again, more this time. He stirred again and again, slowly but surely. Everything seemed to accelerate and become louder and more vivid, it span faster and faster to the point he couldn’t even tell anything apart from itself. He couldn’t even see the colours, not even hear the sound, not even feel the feeling or remember the memories…

And then it went black. And white again. At the same time. And or. Or and. It happened all at once and over the course of many eternities. That’s when it came. The one he knew would come and had been beginning to fear as he expected it. The never. It came all proud and slow, like a king. It came and gently took his hand and smiled down to him before spreading its wings and flying off, dragging him in tow. He felt no wind, heard no bird, saw no sun, just content. Once more, all was content. White…

The beginning of a new story, maybe…


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