A Spider-theory: Schrödinger’s Spider-man

Everybody has heard about Schrödinger’s cat. And for the most part, people manage to picture the concept really well. To actually understand it is to take it a step too far, however. #QuantumPhysicsAreHard But that is not the point of this short essay – if I may be allowed to call it so. All you need to know is that the cat, as long as it remains in the box and no one checks inside, is simultaneously alive and dead. It’s that simple. Or is it? Yes. Yes, it is. At least for us, right now. You may be wondering where I am going with this, but relatively to the title chosen to crown this post, the point I am trying to make should begin to get more clear. If it does not, keep on reading, I swear it will neither be (too) long nor (too) complicated.

— WARNING! potential marvel related spoilers ahead, for those of you who have not been alive these past few years WARNING! —

Captain America: Civil War saw a brief apparition from Peter Parker, a.k.a. Spider-man, as a part of the main canon of the MCU back in 2016. Then, about a year later, Spider-Man: Homecoming reintroduced the character as an integral part of the MCU, after more than a decade in the hands of Sony (for what were good, very good, and then less good years. And then better ones to be honest). So the beloved character was back and in good shape and his own universe was coming back to life with him, in the form of movie follow-ups to that apparition in the MCU, in the form of a great animated movie, and even a very good video-game. And, as I saw it unfold before me, as I lived this sort of small renaissance for the character, I must admit I really enjoyed it.

Sam Raimi’s Spider-man is the first superhero live-action movie I ever saw, before Batman, Superman or Daredevil. I loved the 90s TV show (I’m too young to have known any of the previous ones) and I became enamored with Spider-man 2’s Gamecube adaptation with its very wide map, its great slinging physics making it so satisfying to move around, and some of my now favorite characters in that universe: Black Cat, with whom I fell in love (her black suit, silver white hair and provocative charm); and Mysterio, who will always, despite being a villain, hold a dear place in my heart, along side The Phantom Menace’s Qui-Gon Jinn, as one of the coolest characters from my childhood (the dude has a ridiculous but oh so cool B-movie villain type suit, and holographic powers! What can I say, magic is magical).

Now, this bit of backstory wasn’t necessary per se, but I felt like I had to give it to you, dear reader, so that you would better understand my point of view.

So, as I was saying, Spider-man sort of came back into the world’s good grace over the last few years. And, when Avengers: Infinity War rolled in, and he died *wink wink* at the end, everyone was sad. Me included. I did not shed a tear for poor Peter – I don’t cry a lot, the last time a tear rolled on my cheek was when I re-watched the episode where Marschall’s dad died in HIMYM, and I hadn’t cried in years before that – but I did feel the emotion of the scene, and it was good. The movie was surprising, in many ways, not all great, but overall it was a very pleasant experience. And having that feeling of doom at the end, even if for only a moment, as we all know they are going to make things better in Endgame, was indeed satisfying.

But Spider-man died. Poof! He bit the dust. Or, actually, the dust bit him. And that is where I want to go, with this. As of Infinity War, Peter Parker is dead. And having that information, along with the names of others who have passed (King T’challa and Nick Fury, among others), was perplexing. I didn’t quite believe they would keep him dead, they couldn’t all be definitely dead, they had to come back somehow. To be honest, I feared this knowledge would ruin the movie to come, but, in retrospect, it didn’t. The how they would come back, and the who would actually come back (as I have a feeling some might not) or, at least, who would take their place in death, were questions that kept me interested and entertained over the months. It was very cool to read and discuss theories, to learn how that story-line had gone down in the comics, what was different, what seemed to be hinted in the progression of the movies, in the teasers, the trailers, etc.

Then they announced Spider-man: Far From Home. And they said it would be direct sequel. And that frustrated me. I would like to say it frustrated me real bad, but eh, I must be getting old and disinterested in everything because it was more like a mild inconvenience. But still an inconvenience compared to Infinity war. Now we knew. Spider-man was going to be alright. It didn’t ruin Endgame, but it did take away some of the suspense, at least for me. They also announced Mysterio would be in it, which I found cool – as I really like the character – and then, later, that Jake Gyllenhaal was cast for the role. It managed to hype me up, but not as much as I was for Endgame (and I wasn’t that hyped for that one either at the time).

But then, Venom came out and I went to see it. Now, I had heard about the project and that it wouldn’t really be connected to the MCU, just a stand alone movie [one to try to jump-start a franchise, but a standalone none the less], still, I had hopes. Sony and Marvel (Disney) had managed to find a common ground with Homecoming, why not there too? Sadly, it was not to be. Venom is alone – and perhaps it did disserve the movie – and it seemed to be set to remain that way. Seemed.

Now, don’t take my word for granted, this is just a wild idea, a theory, one in which I don’t even believe wholeheartedly, but which I find interesting enough to share.

I say it seemed, because, as you may – and by now, should – know, there were two scenes during and after the credits of Venom. The first one, and least interesting here, introducing Carnage, seemingly out of nowhere. To this day I still don’t know how I feel about that – both about the character being there and its introduction, and about Harrelson as the actor behind it. The second, the more interesting one here, this one :

A teaser of the then upcoming Spider-verse movie – a very good one by the way, go see it, it is absolutely worth it! I had heard about the project and I was hyped about it, I just never expected to see that footage after Venom.

It did not change my life, but it did make me think. What if…? Then I saw the Spider-verse movie and it was… great. Really great. But, to stay focused on the point I am trying to make, it put in place the notion of alternate universes (showing a number of them to us through the different characters) and it was a collaboration between Marvel and Sony, meaning they were perhaps, just maybe, making a literal middle ground between the MCU and Venom’s universe with this one. And that was what made me think even more. What if they had done it, the madlads? What if, this simple caption at the beginning of the scene at the very end of the credits of Venom was supposed to mean a lot more than it did? Some time passed, and I don’t remember if I saw parts of the teasers/trailers for Far From Home before or after Into the Spider-verse, but after becoming privy to that information and mulling it over, the hype sort of hit me, and the full extent of the theory – which I spent far too long to build up and which I am going to expose right now – came to me.

Now, one final thing before I explain it. What motivated to write this [I realize it now] huge-ass thing is this video, from Austin Mcconnell, where he exposes a theory of his in which he says the Far From Home movie is not real and is simply some misleading promotion stuff designed to make us think Endgame is going to happen another way than it actually is… Personally, I don’t really believe that, although after part of the trailer footage from Infinity War (with Hulk appearing in it, for example) not being featured in the movie at all, one can wonder.

I don’t really feel this is the case though. It might be, but I don’t think so. My heart tells me Gyllenhaal’s Mysterio is really going to happen. It has to happen. Please. I want Mysterio… Anyway, I don’t think this theory is right, but mine is strangely sort of related to it. So, without further ado, here is the madness I propose:

What if Spider-man, Peter Parker, the one from the MCU in Infinity War & Endgame, is not the same as the one in Far From Home? What if Far From Home, takes place in an alternate universe? One with a different Peter Parker and different characters and different events?

I know it is far-fetched, and very weak as a theory, but imagine what a surprise it would be! Spider-man still gone at the end of Endgame, never to come back (maybe), and a different yet very similar one very much alive, in a different universe, with a more or less different timeline… Or even another version of this: our Peter Parker transported to that alternate universe but without really realizing it and having to struggle to come back (or, yet even to come to terms with the fact that he can never come back). The prospect of that feels really cool, it does in my mind at least. We’d have a true sad moment with Endgame, and a strange melancholic follow-up with Far From Home, all this with more serious consequences and without ever seeing it coming. (Well, except for this right here, of course.)

And that could mean a whole new set of open doors: one between MCU’s Spider-man and Sony’s Venom, and even, perhaps, connecting all of it to the Spider-verse… So many possibilities, so many ideas, and so much hype! Now, I don’t know if that is what will happen, I don’t know which of the two theories between Austin Mcconnell’s and mine is the most outlandish, I don’t know how far Marvel and Sony are willing to go with this, but just imagine… what if?

Thank you for sticking with me until the end despite the outrageous length of this “short piece of an essay”, I hope you enjoyed the trip!

So yeah, this is sort of Schrödinger’s Spider-man, because as long as we don’t watch the upcoming movies, Spidey is alive and dead simultaneously.

What do you think about all this?


Of My Ideal of Storytelling

This is not a poem nor a short story, rather it is another one of those incoherent rambles. But don’t leave yet! It will be interesting (maybe, I hope) and I’ll try to keep it short and to the point, I promise! #PinkySwear

The concept I want to talk about today (or tonight, as it’s already night time here) is storytelling. Ah, storytelling… What a vast subject that could be tackled on so many different angles. I, however, shall tell you about something more specific, something more personal. A dream of mine, to be precise.

As you may or may not know, I have been studying English these past two years and a half, English language (how to speak it good), civilisation (why, when and how English) and literature (English but with a glass of champagne in one hand, a cigar in the other and an accent just as fine as your moustache). It has honestly been a blast, I’ve been having a lot of fun and studied many an interesting thing. Well, for the most part, ’cause, you know, there’s always those one or two classes that you don’t know what they are doing there but you still have to go to even if they are as boring as hell.. (Perhaps a bad analogy here, considering hell is supposed to be pure pain for eternity and that pain is not boring at all, far from it… Well, maybe after a whole eternity, who knows… Anyway!)

Boring classes, yeah, and the fact that I am not too good with the format in general, and that I hate working… I do find the subjects very interesting though, that’s a silver lining isn’t it?

So! As I was staying, studying English. This semester, during which I have been studying in Ireland instead of France because the program of my university required me to go abroad for a semester – that was also great, but a story for another time because I can already feel you dozing off here -, I have had to choose classes to follow. Some that I don’t necessarily have back in France. This has allowed me to study film and its relationship with sound, which was awesome in every way, much more interesting than I thought it would be when I picked it! But also literature (Irish authors and also the romantic genre) but of course Irish civilisation and Irish folklore too!

Those last two were great because I learned a lot about the relationship between the history of Ireland and its folklore, and about not only the content of said folklore (mainly through folk tales) but also about the way an Irish folk tale works and is transmitted. This last part, the study of folk tales was what truly got my attention, leading me back to the subject of this post: storytelling.

We studied the mechanisms of folk tales, how they were built, why they worked, why they appealed to us despite their apparent simplicity and why they had lasted so long, all very interesting things to know but not what I want to talk about here. No, what I want to talk about is the way these folk tales are transmitted and what has got me thinking about the whole storytelling concept. You see, traditionally, Irish folk tales are transmitted orally by storytellers. Now, I know that it is the case in many different cultures and that many different peoples have long used the voice as medium to tell stories, and I have known that for a long time too, don’t worry.

So why did it leave such an impression on me now?, you ask. Well, the answer is long and part of what I like to call the ‘latching point’ (another subject for another time), but I’ll try to make it short: basically I have been struggling to write my stories these past years (and it’s not for trying, though not that hard I must admit), but I have been doing a decent job – I would say – at writing poetry, with more than 500 poems posted here to this day and I have not stopped thinking about them, toying with the characters, the plots and fleshing everything out even more than before. And yet, not even three chapters were posted here for Tales of Ore (in French) in the last 6 months, perhaps in the last year…

That is what has been on my mind lately: realising I wasn’t going very fast nor very far with my novel-writing. It was a realisation that came not all at once but over time, and it did not come alone, it was followed by many questions: was I really passionate about it? Was my method wrong? What could I do to remedy to that? Should I think of other stories to write about if those didn’t work? Should I start over? Should I change the medium? And so on and so one… I must admit, I don’t really have an answer, at least not very clear, to this day. I am still trying to figure out what I can do. Or to act upon it because I know there is only one way to move on: move on. I have to do it, to make myself work on them more regularly.

One thought stuck with me however: should I change medium? I have long thought about turning one or more of my stories into comics (as you may have already seen if you have been following me for some time now), and still do (if anyone is interested to talk about a possible project with me, don’t hesitate!), or into audio series or things like that. A few problems arose. One, I don’t draw well, not well at all. Two, I’m too lazy and discouraged to try to learn at this point (though I may get to it one day). Three, audio series need either a diverse range of voices or actors, and good scripting. Which I am not very good at, at the moment, unfortunately…

So, yeah, not a lot of positive things there. That’s why, learning about storytelling and seeing how people like Seán Ó Conaill (look him up, very interesting stuff! [not Sean O’Connel, the professional fighter though, Seán Ó Conaill and his folk tales]) could create very engaging stories through the power of their voice and their way of telling them. No long period of writing, no struggling before a blank page, just a nice, comfy chair, a fireplace on a winter night and a few people to listen.

Okay, yes, there’s more to it than that. ONe has to know how to tell a story, which story to tell, how to manage an audience and many more things than that. It’s something you have to work on and practise, it’s not as easy as I just made it sound. Plus the stories better be interesting. Also, there are some negative aspects to that: you have to be in front of an audience, which reduces the number of people you can reach at one time, and it’s live so, no messing up. So, yeah. But still, it sounded so interestingly awesome to me because I know what my characters are supposed to do in my stories, what happens to them and how to tell it (in which order, in which context, etc.) and I could actually, honestly tell you the story without much difficulty right now if you asked me. It seems so easy and fun to do and the more I though about it, the more I was attracted to this.

Of course, it’s not that simple because I have never done it before (I am not good at it), my stories are not entirely complete (which could lead to useless storylines or digressions) and I don’t have any people interested in listening to me ramble on for hours and hours. So, this solution, although easier to achieve than a comic and easier to do than some sort of audio series or audiobook, is not perfect and requires practice and other people interested in what I have to say. But, it is interesting. No matter how much I think about it.

I would love, and I mean really love, to have my main story, Tales of Ore, completed as a novel and for people to be able to read it and possibly to enjoy it as much as my. However, at the same time, somehow, the prospect of actually telling this story to people, not just giving them the book or reading it to them but actually telling them the story is very attractive. And so, I have kept thinking about it for the last few weeks/months, playing with it, trying to find ways to make it work somehow.

As I write this today, the best solution I have been able to come up with would be to record myself and to post this fireplace-corner-comfortable-seat-storytelling on a platform like YouTube or equivalent in episodes of 15 or 20 minutes and to tell it orally bit by bit, like once a week or something. Perhaps it would work, perhaps not. That’s for future me to see. I feel I would really love to try it! I don’t know if I’d be good at it, if my stories would be interesting or if the concept would work but I really want to try. Also, I have so many stories to tell that I have material to practise for a looooong time before I run out of things to say, so at least I would probably end up being better at it if I did it.

It would require a few different things, a comfortable chair and a fireplace to begin with, but also some training and an actual plan as to what I am going to tell and how. That is not something I view myself as doing in the near future (meaning the next few days or weeks), I feel that until I come back to France at least, it’s no use trying, but it is a possibility I am seriously considering because it would be such an enriching experience, it would allow me to flesh out my stories even more, to try my hand at something different and new for me, but it would also be a fresh concept (at least I haven’t seen much of anything like this on the internet until now) and maybe, just maybe, it would allow me to actually finish and share my stories… Maybe, with a little hope and faith.

So, yeah, that’s my great dream right now: become a storyteller, an oral storyteller, and to tell the stories I have thought about for years now to people, not by writing them down or by drawing them but by actually telling them. A bit like a new Morgan Freeman, when I think about it… With a far less appealing voice though.

One day perhaps… Who knows? Who nose…?

Any thought, tips or comment on this? I’d love to know what your opinion on this is, if you think it would work or not and if you would be interested in this!

Thanks for reading! (This got way too out of hand again, damn it!)

Also, feedback would be appreciated!

A Duet With Life

Worry not my friends for this post will not be as long as the one from earlier today, I simply wish to bring new of a new era in my poetic writings for, as you may have noticed if you have been stalking this website’s pages (Ha! As if anyone would do that…), I have added the page containing the poems in the new part of my collection.

After A Ballad For Death, let me introduce the second part, A Duet With Life, which is officially available for consultation and avid reading as of right now!

However, where A Ballad For Death was more of a challenge of quantity – sometimes over quality – where I set myself the task of writing each day for a year and a half, A Duet With Life shall be more free in its completion as I will write poems when they come to me. Perhaps that will be as often as one a day for periods of time but perhaps not, it is not the goal this time.

There won’t be much change in themes or inspiration, it will mostly be a continuation of my poetic wanderings but I do truly hope you enjoy reading them as much as you have in the previous era and as much as I enjoy writing them!


Finally, before leaving you for the evening, I want to answer the main question that would surely be asked to me if ever anyone was interested in this: why choose those two names? Is there any significance behind them? Well, the answer is: probably. I don’t really know why I chose A Ballad For Death, the most likely answer is that it partly came to me randomly, I was looking for a title with both a good power of evocation and meaning to me (a link to my writings).

And, though it may surprise you, death it actually one of the very recurring theme in my poetry, as is the act of dancing (in the lexical fields I use, in the images I play with and in the way I play with words, I dare say I [try to] “dance with words), and poetry is a form of lyrical oral art so it somehow fit perfectly. As for the second part, A Duet With Life, well, again, important themes, my way of playing with words and  contrast with the first part…

Now, if everything goes according to plan, this will not be the last part of my poetry and the next one(s) also have names that are connected and already planned!

Anyway, I am getting ahead of myself and talking (or rather writing) way too much so I will leave you here, enjoy and see you later!

PS: a new poem coming tomorrow!

Schrödinger’s poet

Don’t dead, open inside.


Schrödinger’s poet or why I haven’t posted anything for a week.

The tl;dr and obvious/easy version of what I am going to say, e.g. the short one, is that I needed a break from writing for a while.

Now that this is out of the way let’s proceed to try to decrypt why I needed such a break and what it meant (because, if it wasn’t obvious before, I will make it painstakingly so right now: I haven’t stopped writing at all this past week, on the contrary, I may have even spent more time doing so than per usual). So why make it seems like a break then? Well, that is where the title comes in: Schrödinger’s poet, a simple yet very effective wordplay on the expression ‘Schrödinger’s cat’, coined after the thought experiment of the cat in a box full of radioactive poison, cat of which, as postulated, we cannot know the state of existence without opening the box, it is therefore alive and dead at the same time creating a paradox. That is the point I am trying to make here: the paradox of being a poet for me.

What do I mean?, I hear you say. Well, it’s quite simple actually. The less I write, the more I write; the more I write, the less I write. What I mean by this is that while I was writing poems – one every day – I was so focused on that everyday that I had very little energy or motivation to work on any other writing project that I have. And with A Ballad For Death coming to an end recently I thought I would catch up on that ‘lost’ time. Weirdly however I found myself continuing on the same track and rhythm of one poem a day. Why? Because I had no idea what else to do to ‘replace’ this concept and I wanted to keep the site active. Also because I think I am not ready to share the rest of my longer writings yet, none of them are fleshed out enough to do that. And so I found myself trying to find a new concept, which didn’t come, and in the mean time having to keep on stretching the already thin line of poetic inspiration that was mine. I don’t mean to say that I have no more idea, motivation or passion for poetry, on the contrary, I believe it will stay a big part of my work for a long time, but writing a poem a day… is damn exhausting! I think it is time to let this rest in the shades of a closet at the back of my mind for a moment, I have exhausted all my energy following this challenge to myself and, although I am very proud of what I have accomplished, I believe I should try to move on, if only a little.

So what ave I been doing this past week? Well writing poetry (Of course! What else?!), working on my old writing projects, reflecting on what I could do and even trying to keep up with a new NaNoWriMo ambition (which failed pretty quickly as, for the third year that I participate, I found out it is not at all my rhythm or my way of working and I found myself losing interest quite quickly… – not in the story but in the writing process.). I have also been taking some time for me, to reflect, time to do nothing, time to do other things, but, most importantly, I have managed to rest myself from the constant demand of renewing my inspiration each day for a few days and it has been sooooo agreeable! I’ve actually been able to work on what I wanted to write for some time now, not what I felt I had to write or something I forced myself to write. Because even if I take great pleasure and love working on poetry, making myself write one a day even when I felt I should have stopped already was difficult and I could feel I wasn’t as invested as I should be, or at least not when I needed to be. And that is very annoying. So yeah, writing, thinking, planning, pondering. A couple new projects, a few old ones. Some good old passionate thinking which did a great deal of good to my writer’s mind.

But, what now? Well, I don’t really know… All this reflecting has led me to think that I had to change things a little, try new projects (even if they fail), perhaps take time to look at the site’s organisation, which I have been meaning to simplify for some time now… So yeah, a number of things. I will probably share a few poems in the days to come because I have a handful new ones that I believe you could find interesting, but I might also try something else…. Perhaps those short stories I talked about the last time, or those writing prompts and concepts I sort of began all those months ago and never actually took the time to continue… The main point is that I still don’t know exactly what I am going to do but I have a better idea of what I want to do, which is equally important. So, yeah, I don’t know, but I am here and I will keep on following my creative drive so just stay tuned and see you soon! ;)

PS: I apologize for the lack of clarity of this post, but basically I was a bit down recently, I took some rest and am better now. I am back to do things, perhaps not as often but more in tune with my desires?

PPS: Also, question to those who have written this all the way to the bottom (thank for bearing with me): what would you want/like me to do/write about here? Any ideas? I’m open!


Want it or not, here is a bit of news about me and my projects for the future! (Warning! It’s gonna be a bit long, but worry not! tl;dr at the end.)

Yes, I know. It hasn’t been a full week since I published my 500th poem (which you can view by clicking here) and me saying I wasn’t too sure what I was going to do after this (in this post), yet I seem to have already decided on that for here I am to give you an update about that! Well, yes and no. Let me explain.

Firstly, no, I haven’t fully or definitively decided what I was going to do from now on after deciding that A Ballad for Death (the corpus of all the poems I have written until number 500) was over. I have been thinking about it seriously for a few weeks though, and for even longer than that if I must be completely honest because I knew early one that I couldn’t go one like this forever, that I would want to stop at one point. Plus I have had so my ideas for so many projects in the mean time that it was impossible not to think about something else. So no, I am not actually certain about the future, but I do have ideas.

Which brings us to my second point: ideas and projects. As you might know (or not) poetry is not my only passion in terms of writing. I also very much enjoy writing short stories and have been trying to write full length novels over the years (though I must admit I am not very successful at it… cf. my ‘shorts‘ and ‘novels‘ sections).

So, as I said projects: poetry will still be published here since I am in no way stopping myself from writing it, it will probably (surely) come at a less frequent pace (I’d say most likely not one a day, but who knows?) but it will come.

I will also try to write more shorts and things like that, because I have a few ideas (namely concerning an idea about a compilation of a few folk tale of my own creation I have in mind at the moment) and I will surely find inspiration in my studies and in everyday life. Plus I want to.

Thirdly, I will most definitely try to work more regularly on my longer stories (both in English and in French, though right now I am more focused on the French version) and publish parts of them (or it) more often (like once a week would be a good rhythm I guess…). I think that I will be participating in this year’s NaNoWriMo with one of my stories just to get the challenge pumping my creativity and my motivation. I don’t know with which story yet, one of the old ones or a completely new one? I have yet to decide. It has been suggested to me recently and, having emitted the idea myself, I find the prospect interesting. We’ll see. ”Qui vivra, verra.”, as we would say in French.

Lastly, I have been thinking for a while about doing some sort of weekly update about my writings, my projects, my way of working, or tips I might have for people. But I am not sure about that, I already tried that with my ‘Quotidians’ and, well, let’s say it wasn’t a great achievement, everything was always rushed and not very interesting. So, if you are reading this, would you mind giving me your point of view on this? Good idea or naw? And any tips on the form it could take?

So yeah, these are the broad strokes of the projects I have for the moment: poetry, shorts, long stories and blogs. I am here to stay and to get better at what I love doing (namely writing).

Also, last but not least, I have been thinking about other ways to tell my stories than writing because after such a long time trying I am starting to wonder if novels are really the form I want to give to my longer stories. I have thought about it before (cf. the idea of turning one of my stories in a comic/manga, if anyone is curious or interested, the offer still stands, just click the link and go have a look! And if you are interested, don’t hesitate to contact me!), but it never came to fruition. Lately, being in Dublin at UCD for a semester, I have chosen to study a few classes, one specifically being ‘Folk Tales’ and it has given me new perspectives on the way I could tell my stories in an oral way instead of a written one. Perhaps an audio saga? Or an audio book? Or something in between? I still don’t know but I am thinking about it…

Why am I telling you this?, you might wonder… Well, this reflecting has reignited a fire in me, a desire to try new things with my writing and one of them was to share my poems by reading them out loud. I have seen people doing hat recently at a reading group at university and it really made me want to try, so I thought ‘why not?’. And today, being partially bored, partially inspired, I decided to give it a try. So, by any chance, you have made it all the way down here and are interested in listening to me read a few of my poems and try my voice at something a bit new, here is a link: https://soundcloud.com/oarandergeid/sets/poetry-poesie. (Enjoy with moderation.)

And that is about all I have to say for today. I have a lot more in stock (like talking about inspiration and where it comes from for me, why I write, what I write about, what I love about poetry, what are my experiences and why I love what I did because it inspires me a lot etc.) and I want to know if you would want to know more… Let me know!

Anyway, long story short (or tl;dr for the more geeky/gamy of you): 500th poem no the end of poems here, many projects but not quite decided yet, reading of my poems by me here: https://soundcloud.com/oarandergeid/sets/poetry-poesie, and what do you think about sort of regular blogs about me, my writings and my life experiences?

Thank you for reading through all this, I hope I didn’t bore you too much…!


A Ballad for Death

When I started this blog/website (whatever) I originally planned to center it around my stories, specifically around Tales of Ore (or Récits d’Ore, in French), but also around others I had in mind, the short stories I was writing and perhaps try to post daily about my life.

I tried all three of those things.

The story’s progress came to an abrupt halt quite quickly, because my ability was (and is still) lacking, I never felt satisfied with what I was writing. The other stories suffered the same fate. I do still plan on continuing them one day, just… not today. The short stories still come, now and then, when I have time and I feel inspired and motivated to work on them. The daily posts lasted for about a hundred editions I believe, on and off, now and then, it was a good experience but not a great success I must say…

And then, almost out of nowhere, came poems.

I started writing one or two from time to time, because I felt like it and it was strangely fun. More than I had anticipated. I reproduced the experiment a few times, trying to do it as well as possible and on subjects that interested/fascinated/motivated me. And somehow, suddenly, it turned into a challenge to myself: write one each day for as long as possible. I didn’t know how far I would get, how good a work I would do, but I didn’t care, I wanted to try. It gave me something to work on regularly if I wasn’t going to do that with my ‘novels’. It also gave me an opportunity to practice poetry, both in English and in French, and to try to get better at it. It tested my determination because believe me, coming up with a poem a day is not that easy. Especially as time progresses. And it fit nicely into my plan of adding content to this site as regularly as possible.

At first I did it six days a week, five of those in English and one in French. Slowly I started mixing it up a little more, doing it more often – every day – and to try my hand at new themes, now ways of writing, new subjects, new things…

Time passed.

I reached fifty poems. Then a hundred. Then two. Then three. By that time I had wondered if I shouldn’t try collecting them under a common name and try publishing them (or some of them) someday. I settled on A Ballad for Death for the name, why? I couldn’t tell you, I am not sure myself. Perhaps the fact that Death is a mysterious, fascinating and recurrent theme in my work? And/Or perhaps I believe a ballad is a nice way to make an offering to this eternal lady of darkness.

So I reached three hundred, then four and then I closed up on five hundred. I started thinking about stopping (my inspiration was wavering slightly at the end) but I didn’t know when nor how. I thought of doing it at a random number between four hundred and five hundred but decided against it, I sort of settled on five hundred in the end. Because it was half a thousand, a round number and a heck of a lot of poems! And to make it even better, I wanted to find a common theme to the last poems, something that would mark the end of this journey with a nice touch and that would perhaps boost my  creativity. It did, end it nicely and boost my creativity I mean.

And here I am now, five hundred poems later.


It means, at least, more than a full year’s worth of daily writing. Quite a feat huh?

Did I get better? I hope so. Am I satisfied? I don’t know, in a sense yes, even if not everything I wrote is great, or even good or passable, I feel proud of having achieved so much. But also, no, because I want to keep going, I still have many things I want to talk about, to write about, to rhyme about. However, and it is the point I am trying to get to here, it is the end of an epoch, the end of a period of my life. It is the end of A Ballad for Death.

Surely I will keep writing, without a doubt, probably I will keep writing poetry and most likely as often as once a day. But not as part of this first compilation. Perhaps another, perhaps with another strange, melancholy name, I don’t know. But A Ballad for Death is over. Five hundred poems is all it gets. Which is quite a good number already.

Now I don’t know what I want to say here, nor exactly what I will do, but I wanted to mark this day as special. I have reached 500 poems, written one each day, every day for the past years and a half (almost, with a few exceptions) and this has been a great experience, a great time and a great help in discovering more of myself. Nothing is over though, I still breathe and as long as I do, so does my poetry.

That is about it, all I wanted to say.

So thank you to those who followed this incredible experience (this is how I view it for myself, not how I would qualify it objectively for everybody), who liked my work and who commented on it. Thank you to those who didn’t either for existing, because this world and life itself (and the complexity of both of them is what made me what I am today and what inspires me in what I do.

Thank you all and I hope that we will both enjoy what comes next just as much.

See ya soon!

My art, your art

Art belongs, in my mind, as much to the artist as it does to the audience but in different ways.

A creation is completely dual in the way it can never be separated from its creator if one wants to understand it but at the same time it doesn’t need any context to be appreciated for what it is, to be given value. So being able to determine to whom it belongs in the end – to the author who created it with some intention behind it or to the reader who gives it his or her own meaning? – is very difficult.

Some say a creation belongs solely to the creator and cannot be dissociated from them. But what do you do in the case of someone who did things or thinks things that are completely opposite to your way of living? Can you still appreciate their art? What about Hitler’s paintings? Are they still art, knowing what he has done? Can you really enjoy Edgar Allen Poe’s POEtry (see what I did there? #lol) without knowing the tortured soul he was? Or The Rocky Horror Picture Show without knowing the political/cultural context of the time?

And others that it belongs to the readers/viewers/public who enjoys that art. But what if they use it in a way that was not designed by the author and that might contradict his or her view of their art? Or what if they change it from its original form to make it ‘better’ or more ‘politically correct’, can it still be considered as having the same meaning, the same impact as the original work? What if they read the meanings wrong or attribute it false ones?

How does one define the line of property for a piece of art (whatever it may be)?

I don’t have an answer to that question, I don’t know for sure. But It’s something that I think about quite frequently. I believe that, just as life in general is complicated, it is the same for art. There are so many different cases and scenarios… What I think I am able to say right now is that a creation should be able to stand on its own to a certain extent, that the public should be able to find beauty/interest in a piece of art just by experiencing it. And then, if they learn how it was created, what it means or what the artist wanted to represent with it, then the art piece can only become even more beautiful/interesting. So it’s paradoxical. The art and the artists are two different things that should be separate but at the same time completely merged together, thus creating a great piece.

I’d like to finish on the fact that I, for one, often insert meanings and references in my art (if I dare call it that), some of which are obvious and others are hidden from the public eye. There are some references I want my public to get, whether I hide them or not, then there are some that I design so that only people privy to the knowledge of my person will get, and then there are some that I insert here and there that may seem comprehensible and obvious (or not at all) but that no one except me will probably ever get. There are many layers to [my] art and I love that about it.

Now, I also think that, beyond what I meant to say, to make people understand through what I write (for example) I people should be able/free to understand/take out what they want from my creations. They are made to make you think, feel and be interested but not just in the way I designed them to be, also int he way you want them to be. And we come back to the paradoxical concept of art here because I want my creations to carry a message but at the same time I want them to be understood on a personal level by each individual who discovers them and in their own original way too.

Is there an answer to this in the end? I don’t, and probably never will, know if I am truly succeeding in this venture but I do truly hope that I do because that makes everything more beautiful. All I can hope is that some people do enjoy discovering and experiencing it as much as I enjoy making it.

PS: I realize now that I haven’t spoken about context until now but it is very important in my opinion. Because the context in which I write (or any artists creates) adds meaning and intent to a creation and so does the context in which people discover said art, it can change something beautiful into something ugly and despicable or inversely.

Sorry if this appeared as a bit of a rant or if it was incomprehensible, I just wanted to put into words what I was feeling and I pray that I did it in a sufficiently coherent manner. Also, example might have been a bit weird, I know…

Dis moi pourquoi…  / Tell me why… 


Piece of evidence n°1 : Le Masque

Dis,  pourquoi ta photo de profil sur ton site c’est une tête de mort ?

Alors déjà, commençons en clarifiant le fait que non, ce n’est pas une tête de mort, et même si c’en était une, ce serait un peu plus profond que ça. C’est autre chose, vous allez voir.

Ensuite, pourquoi répondre à cette question ? Eh bien parce que ce n’est pas la première fois qu’on me la pose et que je remarque que cela déstabilise quelque peu les gens. Mais aussi parce que ça me frustre légèrement qu’on puisse penser que c’est une simple tête de mort ‘pour le style’ alors que pour moi il y a toute une signification derrière. Bon, je vous l’accorde, ce n’est peut-être pas extrêmement intéressant pour vous de savoir pourquoi j’ai choisi cette image mais ça a de l’importance pour moi alors sortez le popcorn et asseyez vous bien confortablement, je vais vous expliquer. (Non, je rigole, ça ne va pas être si long que ça, rassurez-vous.)

Primo, ce n’est pas une tête de mort. Bien qu’elle en ait l’air, qui y regardera de plus près remarquera que, non pas une tête de mort, c’est bien un masque que l’on peut apercevoir sur cette image. Plus précisément (pour les amateurs de détails) c’est un masque de Paintball (ou sport du genre) grimé et coloré pour lui donner un aspect métallique usé ( vous le noterez grâce aux couleur argenté et fissures). J’ai trouvé cette photo sur les interwebs en cherchant des représentations précises d’un masque de ce type et c’est celui qui m’a le plus attiré l’œil et le plus plu. Du coup j’ai choisi ce masque là en particulier.

Maintenant, pourquoi un masque ? Hé bien parce que cela à un rapport avec mes histoires bien sur ! (Évidemment !) Comme vous aurez pu le remarquer, ce site/blog (appelez le comme vous voulez) est centré sur la publication de mes écrits (poèmes, histoires courtes ou longues, etc.) et ceci est en lien avec l’une d’elle en particulier. A la base, Tales of Ore devait accueillir mes deux histoires principales plus une histoire un peu plus secondaire: Récits d’Or, Le masque du héros et Echoes of Power (qui n’a pas de titre en français car je l’écris uniquement en anglais). C’est cette deuxième histoire, Le masque du héros qui impliquait ce masque (comme le titre a du vous le suggérer déjà). Malheureusement, tout ne s’est pas passé exactement comme prévu et je me suis retrouvé à délaisser cette histoire au profit des deux autres, ce pour quoi elle n’apparaît pas vraiment sur le site.

Ce devait être à la base (et ça l’est toujours, car un jour je m’y mettrai, rassurez vous) l’histoire de Maximilien, un jeune homme qui découvre qu’il a des pouvoirs étranges et qui décide de se lancer à la recherche de son passé (notamment de l’identité ses parents) pour tenter de comprendre ce qui lui arrive. Au fur et à mesure de l’histoire il va développer ses capacités et cela va nécessiter le port d’un masque, pour les besoins de l’histoire (je n’en dis pas plus pour ne pas spoiler), et ce dernier deviendra par la suite son symbole. Ce masque qu’il porte est presque exactement celui que vous pouvez voir en haut de cet article et en ‘photo de profil’ de Tales of Ore. Un masque fait de métal argenté et strié de haut en bas, voire rayé, abîmé (mon idée la dessus n’est pas encore arrêté).

Je tire cela d’une scène précise de l’histoire qui a beaucoup d’importance et de signification pour moi. Voici donc tout simplement l’origine de cette image et le choix que j’ai fait de la prendre. Ce n’est pas une tête de mort pour faire peur ou pour donner un air sombre à mon site, c’est simplement un morceau de mon imagination plutôt important et qui est en lien étroit avec la création de ce site.

Voila, maintenant vous savez tout. J’espère que cela vous aide à comprendre un peu plus mon univers et ce site et que la prochaine fois qu’on posera la question vous soupirerez lassement en vous demandant comment on a bien pu poser une question aussi bête et évidente…

Tell me,  why is your profile picture a skull?”

Let us begin by saying that, no, it is not a skull, and even if it was it would mean a bit more than just what you might imagine. This image means a few things, you’ll see.

Then, why answer this question? Well, because it is not the first time I have been asked that and because it seems to make people a little bit uneasy. But also because I am slightly frustrated at the idea that people might think this is a skull and that I chose it for the style when there is a real and more complicated signification behind it. I will concede the fact that it may not be that interesting for you to know why I chose this picture but it is important for me so sit down comfortably and take out your popcorn, Imma gonna explain it to y’all! (I’m just kidding, it’s not gonna be that long, don’t worry).

Firstly, it is not a skull. It may look like it from afar but if one were to take a closer look they would notice that it is in fact not a skull but a mask. More precisely (for the people in desperate need of details) it is a Paintball mask (or from some similar sport) that has been decorated to look like an old metallic mask that has aged after being used/hit for a long time (fact that you may deduce thanks to the silver color and the cracks that spread all over it). I found this image on the interwebs while I was looking for precise representations of an idea of mask that I had in mind and I fell upon this one which caught my eye and which I immediately liked. That’s why I decided to choose that mask in particular.

Now, why a mask? Well, because it is linked to my stories of course ! (Obviously !) As you may have noticed, this site/blog (call it what you will) is focused on the publication of my writings (poems, long or short stories etc.) and this is related to one of them in particular. At the beginning, Tales of Ore was to welcome my two main stories and one secondary story: Tales of Ore, The Mask of the Hero and Echoes of Power. This second story, The Mask of the Hero, was the one related to this mask (as the title may have already suggested). Unfortunately, everything didn’t go according to plan and I found myself putting that story aside to bring forth the other two, reason why it doesn’t really appear on the site.

It was to be (and it is still destined to be for I will get back to it one day, don’t worry) the story of Maximilian, a young man who discovers that he has strange powers and that decides to launch himself in a search for his origins (mostly revolving around the identity of his parents) to attempt to understand what is happening to him. As the story progresses he is going to develop his ability and it will require wearing a mask, for the needs of the story (I won’t say why exactly so as not to spoil anything), and it will eventually become his symbol. This mask he wears is almost exactly the one you can see at the top of this article or on the profile picture of Tales of Ore. It is a silvery-colored mask which is striated or has cracks due to it being worn out (my idea of it is still not completely set in stone).

This idea comes from a scene in the story which has quite some importance and signification to me. This is the reason behind the origin of this image on my site and why I chose this one in particular. It is not a skull made to scare people away or to give a darker vibe to this site, it is simply a piece of one of my stories that feels important to me and is closely linked to the creation of Tales of Ore.

There. Now you know everything. I hope it will help you understand my universe and this site a little bit more and that the next time someone will ask this question you will be able to sigh wearily while wondering how anyone could have ever asked such a stupid and obvious question…

What you write is not what you are…

Well not always anyway.

A writer doesn’t always write about how they feel or about how they think or view the world, not exactly. Writing isn’t always an open letter to one’s soul. Sometimes it’s less than that: Just a fun way of escaping daily thinking and routine. Or more than that, like a profound analysis of one’s psychology, moods and soul. But other times it’s something different, something that isn’t exactly them (or me or you), something that fills us, that passes through us, that uses us as a means of reaching others.

Sometimes, for a writer, writing is a vessel for foreign emotions. Fabricated emotions, borrowed emotions, emotions that are empathized… Emotions that aren’t ours, that do not belong to us but that we feel anyways. A writer acts a bit like a channel for these emotions.

I am not sad or happy, I don’t feel trapped or wings grow just because I write so. Perhaps I do, perhaps I don’t. Perhaps a bit of both. Perhaps not. Writing is a mash of a lot of things and a bit of wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey stuff that we don’t always understand or think or feel but that we put into words anyways because it seems the moment to do so.

Writing is something you do to express yourself but not necessarily to express your self. This is something important that I have learned by participating in writing classes: never consider the protagonist of a story (or the subject or theme of a story) as the writer themselves. Try to think of it more like a mirror, a projection, something the writer decided to write about and that is dear to them, holds meaning, but doesn’t define them. The point of view of a character in a story is not the point of view of the author, so it is not to be refered as so.

True, as an author your ideas, thoughts and opinions often end up in your characters but that doesn’t mean that everything the story expresses is what the author wants to express or tries to convey. Sometimes, when writing, one even conveys things they didn’t even want to convey. Art is made to make people feel, think and reflect. Sometimes it expresses ideas but always remember, art and artists are a very clearly separate duo, even if they are completely fused together.

This was just a small rant to try to clarify this for all of humanity. Here’s the tl;dr you have to learn from this: ‘I am not what I write. Mostly.’. Maybe it sounds stupid, unnecessary or incomprehensible (I apologize if it does) but I felt it was something important to say and I wanted to express it.

Thank you for reading and understanding.